You might have seen this post from our RethinkBPD site (currently being redirected to this site), but it is worth republishing here. Diane & Jim Hall are family educators for NAMI and NEA-BPD. Being one of the most loving, generous and hard-working advocates for BPD I’ve ever encountered, Diane & Jim have been a tremendous gift to me. In this post they share a little bit about their journey towards BPD awareness, learning and living with their daughter’s diagnosis. Thank you Diane & Jim!

Since Borderline Personality Disorder was first listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual as a legitimate diagnosis in 1980, the concept of the negative, troubled family environment of the person with the diagnosis has slowly been losing its horrifying stigma. Families were viewed by early medical school educators as causative of the disorder and vilified by professionals. Clients were often advised to separate from their families and concerned families were excluded from treatment of their loved one.

Recent evidence, however, has shown that the supportive, involved family of a person with BPD has a measurable effect on the recovery of the individual.  Imagine that – the family can help! We can be influential in our loved one’s recovery – and care for ourselves as well!

Five Major Things We’ve Learned Since our Daughter’s Diagnosis in 2001

1. The behaviors are reflective of the illness. We recognize that the negative behaviors are an outgrowth of core aspects of the disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder is real. How did we learn this? Through family psycho-education courses and conferences sponsored by NAMI and NEA-BPD.
2. Early, thorough, and correct diagnosis and appropriate, proven treatment are paramount to a path of recovery. How did we discover this? We reviewed resources from NAMI and NEA-BPD; did and still do extensive reading and networking; attend conferences and support groups; consult with helpful professionals; and evaluate all available information. Another “gold-standard” website we admire and use frequently is from Dr. Robert O. Friedel’s.
3. We love our daughter and cherish all the aspects of her life. We always keep faith that she loves us too.  She is an individual with BPD. We address her as a person, not as an illness.
4. We investigated all avenues of health insurance including federal and state funding to insure financial support for the best treatment programs available for her needs. We discussed the top three choices with our daughter. Detailed “fact-finding missions” can lead to educated choices for care.
5. Our lives focus on Education, Skills, and Support. Life with BPD is admittedly different. Still, it can be rewarding. Acceptance and advocacy heal.

*To view or post a comment please click here and scroll down (you can also just click on the headline too). Thanks!

What would it be like to not only tackle the inherent obstacles of BPD, but also survive the effects of domestic violence and sexual assault?

This is the reality for many individuals that the Brooklyn District Attorney’s Office work with. The Barrier Free Justice Conference, coming this May, is geared specifically for those working with women from the disabled community who are victims of domestic violence and/or sexual assault. This year they are focusing in on BPD and have asked me to take part in the presentations.

I, personally, have never experienced the type of suffering that abuse victims go through and suffice to say, I take this on as a big responsibility. So I asked Catherine Jones, LMSW, organizer of conference and on the D.A.’s counseling services unit, why they decided to focus their day on BPD and how it links to domestic violence, abuse and sexual assault:

One of the obstacles is that people with BPD in this setting (mainly those who have experienced domestic violence) is that they have an increased difficulty in leaving the abusive relationship.

I have seen people in extremely abusive relationships who have a terrible time getting away because of very intense feelings of attachment to their abuser and fear of being alone. These are issues faced by virtually all survivors of domestic violence, but I think these issues can be intensified by BPD.

To say the least, domestic violence and sexual assault is an invalidating environment in its most extreme form. I want to use this post to open up the conversation — even if just a little bit — to help give voice to those who oftentimes are hidden, ashamed, or lost. I ask our BPD community to help guide me and respectfully represent those I will speak for. Hearing from those who lived through such experiences and thrive with hope and resiliency would be of great value to all those attending, myself included.

Living with BPD is a very difficult place to find yourself in, but with initiatives like the Barrier Free Justice Conference, I am hopeful that there will be much more compassion and understanding to those who bear that added strain of domestic violence and abuse.

I hope you can share a part of your story in our comments section below. Your voice truly matters.

Barrier Free Annual Conference
Walking the Line: Trauma, Victimization and BPD
Thursday, May 13th, 2010, 9:30am – 4:30pm
Kings County District Attorney’s Office
350 Jay Street, 19th Floor, Brooklyn, New York
RSVP: reedc(at)brooklynda(dot)org

*To view or post a comment please click here and scroll down (you can also just click on the headline too). Thanks!