amanda@rethinkbpd.com

Quit the Wrong Stuff, Stick with the Right Stuff.

How did you know when to let go of something you put your heart in to in order to make room for something else?

“Every new project starts out exciting and fun. Then it gets harder and less fun, until it hits a low point—really hard, and not much fun at all. And then you find yourself asking if the goal is even worth the hassle. Maybe you’re in a Dip—a temporary setback that will get better if you keep pushing. But maybe it’s really a Cul-de-Sac, which will never get better, no matter how hard you try.”

My dear family, I am in the middle of deciding whether or not to let go of the dream to compete in the Golden Gloves this year. Trying to lose weight to get into your weight class is no easy feat — and trust me, I’ve tried to do everything I could in a healthy manner (18lbs in two months but it’s the last 6lbs that are the hardest).

There’s a fine line in healthy and unhealthy dieting and I’m afraid that in order to make weight I’d have to cross that line. I’ve come very close and don’t want to go that route, especially when it’s a vulnerability for someone who has a mental illness. I’m feeling a whole range of emotions, from guilt and shame to relief and freedom, but most of all, regret.

The good news is that I’ve completed the first draft of my book proposal (minus the sample chapters) and scheduled interviews with clinicians, researchers and those with BPD for the next two weeks. I’ve been engrossed in this project for a while now and it seems like this is the direction my life’s work is taking me.

Can I do both? Or should I heed the words of Seth Godin:

“Quit the wrong stuff. Stick with the right stuff. Have the guts to do one or the other.”

I know only I can answer this very tough question. But sharing this difficult juncture in the road provides me with some solace. Your wisdom, stories and support are truly appreciated. Thanks for letting me share.

2 Comment(s)
  • Brian Lachina Posted January 30, 2013 11:58 am

    Thanks for sharing this, Amanda. I know this sounds cliche, but I will sincerely be praying for you during this tough decision – specifically that God will make it clear what you should do and that you will be at peace with your decision. Hang tough!

    • Amanda Wang Posted January 30, 2013 4:12 pm

      Thanks Brian, for your prayers and support. I know it will be a difficult decision but I think it’s probably for the best to put my health first. I hope I can still call myself a fighter. I haven’t given up the hope, haven’t given up the fight for those living with BPD — the venue’s just been changed.

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