As soon as I heard that question, my eyes lit up.

Thanks to the generosity of Nick Morgan, I was able to attend his two-day Public Words Speaker Forum 2010 featuring Pam Slim, Steve Farber and other passionate people changing the world in their own wonderful ways. At the start of the weekend, I didn’t think myself as much of a communicator. By the time I left I was hungry for more, confident I’d be back next year, speaking before the very same audience.

It’s not everyday that I feel this kind of stuff in my bones. My self-doubt has a way of keeping me locked in, head hung low, lurking in the shadows, trying to blend in.

The peculiar thing is that I left Boston with a renewed sense of purpose. I rode back home with all the enthusiasm and fire needed to change the world. I owned it. I didn’t need permission anymore. It was a flash of insight, a moment of empowerment. It was quite freeing, albeit short lived. Still, something stuck (thank goodness) and I was starting to get it.

What, in a matter of two days, did I finally get? With the help of the amazing people in the conference, somehow I made the leap. I finally realized that by denying myself a life of any value, I not only lessened my life’s work but I also denied others of their own value and ability to fully participate in their life’s work.

I’ve realized that in my own tiny sphere of influence I’m not even the beginning; more so, I exist as a part of this long continuum — remarkable things that started way before me and will continue much after me. The real work begins when I am able to bring who I am and what I do into this space.

It hit me. That’s why I needed to believe… because once you do it opens up a whole new frame to work with. Things that you never even said before, never even owned up to, never admitted become a part of your make-up. Perhaps for the first time you hear yourself say it.

I exist.

It’s finally in my vocabulary. I beginning to get it.

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